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•♥´¨`♥••♥´¨`♥• Life is a tangle of twisting paths. Some short. Some long. There are dead ends. And there are choices. And wrong turns, and detours, and yield signs, and instruction booklets, and star maps, and happiness, and loneliness. And friends. And sisters. And love. And poetry. Life is a maze. You are a maze. I am a maze. Amazed (U). And amazing (ME). ;) •♥´¨`♥••♥´¨`♥• (not my creation though i changed d last lines)

Monday, November 5, 2012

Today and Everyday...Just Fighting it out...!!

Have u guys ever felt sick of something or some body in particular... and is it okay to feel such immense hatred for someone that u knw u will just blast...huh. Yup i am going through a similar phase ans trust me its no good. Its taking a toll over my emotions and made me so temperamental that even i am not able to guess my next reaction to things..!!

I want this person I am talking about to just get out of my life and never show his damn face again. Makes me go so sick, even the idea of having him around...so, so sick.

How can somebody just cant understand the boundaries that u are trying to set up, are they soo blind or just chose to ignore..huh. Assholes and Bitches..!! (Oops, did I just say that.)

Well sorry but, I am in a very screwed up state of mind and am actually grasping for words out here.. and when I think about it, only swear words are the ones I can think about.. :((

I really wish to get out of this phase and pray to God to please get me out of this bullshit...!!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Today -- 31 Jul'09

The past few weeks, have been really mixed for me. With all the feelings flowing in - all at the same time made me and my life go haywire, in the process of developing my so called self-emote, I went back to my cocoon, to go, sit back and think my life over.
Did I really needed to be sad? Did I really needed to be frustrated and pained about stuff, which dint matter and touch me? Do I have to take everything on me? Did I really needed to be upset about a future which had not yet come, and let the days just pass by....
Sometimes you are fed up, playing parts to your securely divided life.
How many parts do you have to play in a single day..?? Knowing that its a pressure, still you are expected to carry each part with vigor. Is it even necessary..?? Or Is it that difficult to be playing what you actually are..??

Cant we just live the life as we are, Why is it that even before you are born, frames are already set which you are expected to follow. And we unconsciously keep on doing that very stuff and the we realise is when we are already a slave of the system we have started to hate.

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, youfind it quite intolerable; think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad.
- CS Lewis



Is there a way out then..?? Can the things come back to normal..?? Can the life be back on the track we intend it to be on..

I wish I get my answers soon...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The weekend...!!! 24 Apr'09 - 26 Apr'09


Friday, The 24 Apr'09


Finally it was Friday, and there I was heading towards office, with my packed bags so that I could leave for home. I was going to my Nani's (maternal grandmother's) place, and was really excited, as had not been there for the last 3 years or something. But, when I entered office I had no idea, that it wont be that easy.
My leave application was rejected, and do you even call a leave. we have half days on Saturdays, and I was denied a leave on that day. It was bad and yeah obviously it effected my mood badly. All my plans had crashed. But here's where the story took a complete twist. I, who was so bugged with all this regular practice, literally started crying and guess what, I got the day off :P
LOL. So finally I had made that stupid practice work, which obviously was not intentional and yeah I did had to face comments like - "Ladkiyon ka ek hi toh hathiyaaar hota hai, chal finally tere kaam aa gaya rona." ( Girls have one tool- crying, and so finally yours worked well for you.) Humph.... Though even I was thinking on the same lines, but why to agree in front of others. Whatever it was, finally I was a happier soul who had the next day off, still the mornings event dint leave my mind that cooler. The worst part was I cried and succumbed to the weaker me, which obviously I dint approve of.

Reached Home quite late that night. The best part about going home is obviously the food and warm welcome.
It was a Friday, and my mom dint let me watch any show that day, coz she had a point there - had to wake up early next day, so she made us all go to bed early - it was 1am - do you call it early - I do..!! :P


Saturday, The 25 Apr'09


My mom literally woke me up at 4 am sharp, and I know you guys can imagine, how it would have felt. I had had barely 3 hrs of sleep. My first words were - "You guys go ahead, I don't feel like it. Just let me sleep." :P But, now that I had made such a drama out of that off day business, I had to go. I got up and like a zombie started walking towards the washroom. At first I was not even ready to change and then, even I am surprised what went into me that i got a proper bath, got a head wash, and came out all prim and proper, Yes it was a shocker for my mom.

So we were all set - my Mom, my cousin and me, and were waiting for the cab to come over. So, this time when amazingly I was all ready the cab was 1 hr late. Still we started at 5 and off we went, We were going to my place in Gajraula, where my father and grand parents were already waiting for us to reach so that we could all start towards the place together.
My father had all plans set to torture me with his 1000 decades old songs, but I am smarter, there was not resistance from my side this time - I carry my music on my phone ;)
The journey was fun (I love long drives).

Everyone including me was so happy to see each other after such a long time, I was goin there after so many years, all my memories came back afresh. My Every summer vacation was spent there. I swear we children were a complete menace. :D

So now that I was there, started the feed Nidhi mission. I ate as soon as i reached, do you believe it..! I was so tired and full, that i dint even bother to take my plate, just reclined on the diwan and slept for 2-3 hours. I got up with a start from the noises and found so many people around me conversing and eating, what was this, i could not even imagine about eating.
But....But... when they saw that i had gotten up, i was forced to eat again [ :O :'( ], I DINT KNW WHERE TO HIDE MYSELF. There were no options, and being so nice, I really dint want to hurt their sentiments by saying no and the food was so yummy, still it dint seems like to me at that time. Somehow I managed to finish portions of everything that was laid on my plate. I literally ran out of the room as soon possible and again went back to my sleep.
I had already promised to myself that I wont have any dinner. But I was so wrong. The dinner had - Kadi and roti and ounces of home made ghee, and baby natural hai khaao. Undoubtedly it was finger licking yummy, but mere pet pe itna zulm haye..


Sunday, The 26 Apr'09


3 am in the morning and I wake up with severe stomach ache, Heat ache and even my leg was aching - trust me, it was unbearable. I actually saw the night turning into the morning and wished I had not eaten that much, Now that i was awake, i dint let even my mom sleep. Dont ask me anything and i obviously wont give any explanations. So this was it. My off was completely spoilt :((. still it was fun till the time i was fine, i really got to have so yummy food, after such a long time, farm fresh Food, milk, lassi ...mmmmm.
So, it was Sunday, and time for us to depart, from the place I love, sadly enough I had to go to office the next day. But yeah, I really dint want to miss the roadies finale :P ( That was the bright side). I'd rather not talk abt the journey, it was tiring and as i had not had a proper sleep from past two nights, my head was spinning badly and my whole body was aching - Bimari ka ghar bani hui thi by God..!!

All in all it was fun, and i loved visiting the place. And the roadies finale was even better :D . I dint want Palak to win ever, and i dint feel Kiri to be that deserving, yeah I would rather have voted Sufi anytime. But yeah even Nauman is not bad, so it was good.

So there I was back home, with great new memories and not the regular sad weekend.


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Current Excitement: I am planning to adopt a dog :D. M Really sooo excited abt it.
Current nervousness: I had not got any registered dogs or dog owns for Havanese :((
Current Anticipation: I am planning for a Hairstyle makeover... How would the new Look turn out to be....?/// ---- My Mom's gonna kill me if it turns out to be something really weird ---- (Yeah guys sorry --- I know its still pending... needed to conserve finances :(
Current High: The wish to own a pup and now even my family has agreed. What more do i want?
Current Low: I am sadly getting no clue about where to start, i have searched the Google throughout, but am not getting any info even no account of Havanese owners. :''((
Current To Do: Makeover one of my Other blog and obviously My hairdo ;) its happening this month.

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Anyways.. Ciao all.. Will obviously keep u all posted with new developments and something of the above changes. And as Promised... cut it...as stated I'll be more active on this one.

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